Working on a pitch to Netflix

"Chariotoflove" (chariotoflove)
10/05/2018 at 12:04 • Filed to: dark comedy mission impossible style or modern film noir? still deciding

We all know how the Castaways were eventually rescued from Gilligan’s Island after all those years and had to reintegrate into society. Those TV specials have been done. But what if...

See, a few years after they’re rescued, all those people who knew they were on the Island and left them there to rot for their own selfish reasons—the Hollywood producer, the entomologist, the Russian astronaut, the film actor, etc.—they start disappearing one by one. Bodies never found.

The Castaways are getting their revenge.

The Professor masterminds the operation. He’s like M and Q all in one. He’s developed so many undetectable poisons and sera from his studies of the Island flora.

The Skipper and Gilligan handle the military ops and logistics angle. The Howells bankroll the whole thing, through numerous off-shore dummy corporations, of course. The girls specialize in infiltration and assassination. The question of which one is more deadly leads to the eternal choice:

Ginger or Mary A nn ...

Suggestions for casting?

DISCUSSION (37)

Ash78, voting early and often > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 12:12

How about The Harlem Globetrotters?

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > Ash78, voting early and often
10/05/2018 at 12:15

Hey! I’m pitching them for my Scooby-Doo spinoff!

McMike > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 12:18

Victim goes to the fridge in the middle of the night for a drink of water. Kitchen is dark.

He opens the fridge

He sees a coconut.

Camera angle changes to inside the fridge, coconut in the foreground, his dimly lit, confused face in the background wondering where that came from.

Victim: “I don’t remember buying a coconut ...”

Gilligan appears from the darkness into frame.

Gilligan: “That’s not the only thing you forgot..”

Chariotoflove > Ash78, voting early and often
10/05/2018 at 12:19

I don’t recall them having a beef with the Globetrotters. Or do you mean enlisting them into the organization? It could be a useful front for some jobs.

Chariotoflove > McMike
10/05/2018 at 12:20

Yes! You understand! Are you free to direct the pilot?

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 12:21

Eric Roberts as The Professor. Joaquin Phoenix as The Skipper. Sharlto Copley as Gilligan. Mary-Louise Parker as Mary-Ann. Evangeline Lilly as Ginger. Karl Urban as Thurston Howell. Lovey.... I dunno, maybe Diane Lane?

Future next gen S2000 owner > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 12:22

Ginger or Mary Ann is the eternal choice. It can’t be decided . I feel like it is the Apple vs Android of the 70's( ?). You have to pick a side. Mustang vs Camaro.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
10/05/2018 at 12:24

Yes, dunno about that one, I can see that, yes, I was thinking Scarlett Johansson but I like yours better, perfect, and Diane Lane is way too hot to be a Lovey even at her age.

Chariotoflove > Future next gen S2000 owner
10/05/2018 at 12:26

Personally, I always imagined a three-way.

Chariotoflove > Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz)
10/05/2018 at 12:26

Do tell. That could go really dark if you tried...

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 12:27

Scarlet Johansen as Ginger

Get Gene Hackman out of retirement to play Howell.

Jessica Walter as Mrs Howell

That’s all I have for now...

Chariotoflove > WilliamsSW
10/05/2018 at 12:29

Those are good choices. Hackman and Walter can be congenial but also have an edge they can call up when needed .

McMike > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 12:32

No, but we can brainstorm on how they kill the victims.

Has to be unique, somehow related to the island, and quite puzzling for local authorities. It shouldn’t be obvious until the fifth or sixth murder that they are linked.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 12:32

The biggest reason for both Joaquin Phoenix and Sharlto Copley is menace. Phoenix hasn’t done that many cheerful enthusiastic roles, but he can do them and he’s old enough now to miss the “Commodus” typecast from Gladiator and be “genial older guy”... until the mask drops. Gilligan needs to be a “harmless funny face” character, and since the Bob Denver chimp mug type is in short supply, I though of Copley and his role in A-team. A role which has the potential to be *completely unnerving* if you picture a But More Evil twist on his version of Murdoch.

Diane Lane was my try at someone who could do bubbly/cheerful after the Janet Leigh model without being obnoxious, and with lots of hotness . Not sure how much Hollywood knows how to do that anymore.

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 12:38

Exactly my thought. Plus I love both of them and will pretty much watch anything they do just to see them.

Future next gen S2000 owner > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 12:39

Kinja'd!!!

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 12:40

Also gonna need Jason Statham in here , but I’m not sure which role.

Chariotoflove > McMike
10/05/2018 at 12:58

More than that, each should be linked to the original episode where the character was introduced. This may take some homework.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
10/05/2018 at 13:02

I have to say, Alan Hale himself could do menace when he needed to. That guy was a seriously good character actor.

You know who else could do Gilligan if he were able to pull off a Midwestern A merican vibe? David Tennant.

Chariotoflove > WilliamsSW
10/05/2018 at 13:02

Cameo as the chimp?

McMike > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 13:06

http://gilligan.wikia.com/wiki/Category:Guest_Star_Episodes

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 13:07

I dunno. I haven’t seen David Tennant in a role of full-on Lou Costello level helplessness. I mean, eccentrically useless whenever The Doctor was doing a put-on to con the locals, sure. Never quite “harmless”.

Honestly, I think my best pick of my list, the one I’m most confident in, would be Eric Roberts. Also the first one that occurred to me. Ever seen Runaway Train ? Dude has range.

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 13:26

Okay, okay- he will never win an Oscar. But somehow I like him when he’s playing pure evil.

Chariotoflove > WilliamsSW
10/05/2018 at 14:02

Honestly, he’s not bad as the gruff, reluctant good guy either.

PyramidHat > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 14:04

And that ducking surfer Biff Stiffington or whateverthefuck .

And, please, Mary Ann. Remember:

Mary Ann>Ginger and, for good measure

Bailey> Jennifer Marlowe

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
10/05/2018 at 14:05

Roberts is a good choice. But how about William Hurt? Also, Gary Oldman.

PyramidHat > WilliamsSW
10/05/2018 at 14:05

Gilligan.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 14:13

William Hurt can definitely play a genius. Somebody who’s a calculating maniac genius, I don’t know because I’m short on his repertoire.

Gary Oldman is a good fallback for most of the positions, but I’m not sure which role is undefined enough to really call for a “AND GARY OLDMAN OUT OF NOWHERE” iconic unrecognizable role. I’m not seeing a Zorg in the characters for Gilligan’s Country (my suggested name), nor even a Sirius Black or Commissioner Gordon.

Chariotoflove > PyramidHat
10/05/2018 at 14:14

Bailey> Jennifer Marlowe

That is a given.

WilliamsSW > PyramidHat
10/05/2018 at 14:28

A really, really, dark Gilligan.

Chariotoflove > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
10/05/2018 at 14:29

For Oldman, think his Dr. Smith in Lost in Space, not that he’s my first choice.

Hurt has an edge. You can see it in The Incredible Hulk. But he still has that affable side that can bridge with the good-natured TV show professor. We need to start viewers off with the harmless, familiar characters they knew and loved from TV and slide them down into the darkness, almost without realizing the journey is happening.

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 14:31

No, he’s not - I was just thinking that, for this role, he would play someone hyperfocused on violent revenge.

So, maybe Gilligan?

Chariotoflove > WilliamsSW
10/05/2018 at 14:43

He’s too buffed and serious looking. We need someone who looks harmless, affable, and a little bumbling on the surface, but who is twisted by a seething ambition for revenge underneath. Elijah Wood could do it if he were older.

WilliamsSW > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 14:47

Never trust any man who tells you otherwise.

Joe6pack > Chariotoflove
10/05/2018 at 17:06

Jason Schwartzman as Gilligan.

Chariotoflove > Joe6pack
10/05/2018 at 17:15

Could work.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Chariotoflove
10/12/2018 at 13:34

Mary Ann > Ginger